Can we please still be friends?


Has anyone else seen this blog entry circulating facebook?
http://dugansincahoots.com/2014/01/23/we-cant-be-friends/

It's the one about if your house always looks like the cover of a magazine, you are trying too hard. Please don't clean before I come over, cuz I don't want to clean before I invite you over. I can't be friends with you if your linen closet is organized. Let's be real with each other and embrace the chaos. Messy moms unite!


Every time that I have seen it posted it has come with a series of thumbs up from other moms, and a string of comments agreeing that keeping a clean house is impossible with little kids.

I agree completely! I am continually thankful that when I had 2 under 2 we lived in a single floor apartment that I rarely dusted and could run the vacuum through in 5 minutes if I needed to. I could never ever ever have kept up with the housework in our current house if I had kids that needed constant attention like they did a few years ago.

 Even still, with fairly self sufficient kiddos, at some point almost every day my house looks like the cover photo on her blog entry. I  have rooms in this house that almost ALWAYS look like that.


I am thankful to have a handful of friends that I would absolutely invite over spur of the moment, and not cringe as they stepped over a pile of shoes in my entryway, and a trail of laundry down my hall.

I think we all need people in our life like that.

But guess what...if I just met you, or you've never been in my house? I'm going to clean for 3 hours before you come over. If I host a party- I'm going to clean all day before it starts. It's who I am, and it's how I was raised. To me it's not a whole lot different than getting dressed in nice clothes and throwing on a bit of makeup when I go out. Sometimes it feels nice to be put together.

But I don't just clean when we are having company. When my kids are at school- I clean. When I wake up on Saturday  morning- I clean. I don't do it to impress anyone or to try to create a fa├žade that indicates "I have it all together." I just like to have a clean house. My husband and I are both kinda OCD and neither one of us can relax in a house that is cluttered.

Case in point: my kids have been at the neighbor's all morning and I decided to organize the laundry room instead of sitting down with a cup of coffee and a book. I have a problem.

But here's the deal, I don't expect everyone to be like me. I promise I will not judge you if your house is cluttered and I pop by unannounced, or with 7 days notice. I don't care if your hallway is a mess or your closets are a disaster. Just please do me a favor and promise not to judge me if my house IS clean, because it has nothing to do with my ability to create authentic relationships. It just makes me a little weird.

3 comments:

  1. I love this! I couldn't agree more. I have my priorities in order, and I know where bonding and memory-making with friends/family stands compared to a tidy house, but I also know that I just feel a lot better and more relaxed when things are in order. I'll always be like that, so there's no use fighting it :)

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    Replies
    1. And that's why we get along fabulously Allison. Although, As I said in my post, I'd still be friends with you even if you were a major slob, as long as you'd tolerate my Clorox wipe addiction in return.

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  2. Love this. Exactly how I feel. I could care less when I walk in a friend's house if the laundry is piled to the ceiling, or neatly put in its drawers, because my laundry could be in either condition on any given day. It's the time spent with friends and loved ones that I care most about. Thank you for saying it out loud!

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